Sunday, August 27, 2006

PP (Poor Pluto)

Poor Pluto!

To derail the planned entry of Ceres, Charon, Xena and several other planets to the Solar Union on August 16th, the IAU decided to redefine its earlier explanation to what they would call “a Planet”.

These plans date back to the time when heavenly bodies comparable to the size of Pluto were discovered, as fears grew over the union’s capacity to absorb new members.

Because of the hastily made definition, Pluto was forced to lose its decade long identity of a “Classical Planet”. The change comes at a time when Voyager I; set out to explore realms where no human-made object has reached so far; has reached the Heliosphere -where the solar system ends and the interstellar space begins which is more than twice as distant as Pluto.

Pluto was discovered in 1930 and since then fears have loomed by for its status as a planet. With a highly eccentric orbit, this farthest member of the solar system has a bitter tale to tell.

Pluto’s stars have never been right. In Larry Niven’s “World of Ptaws”, Pluto was supposed to be knocked out by an interstellar craft. In Rick Random comic book story of the 50’s Pluto was exploded.

Mickey Mouse’s famous dog was chosen to be called Pluto. While Goofy and Pluto, both are dogs, Goofy can walk and talk like a human being but Pluto cannot!! Also, until the summer of 1974, Pluto used to feature along with Goofy in a comic strip called “Goofy and also Pluto”. But soon after, the comic strip was merged with “Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse” to become “Donald, Mickey and also Goofy” dropping the name of poor Pluto!!

The officials of Pluto were not available for their immediate comment; similar was the case with the other planets of the Solar Union. A Pluto mission has been dispatched by NASA to find out how the Plutonians feel about being thrown out of the solar system. The answer would take 30 years to come, so we can only guess what they (the plutonians) feel about this. “We have lodged a strong protest. We are shocked at the incident; this is not in keeping friendly relations. The response that we expect from the earthlings must be self-evident”.

But similar missions for other planets could not be sent as the Bush administration was not interested in things that do not deal with oil. President Bush declared that Earth is the only planet that really matters and that the other planets were not really needed. He hinted at adopting the Copernican Helio-centric theory. He also said that former outer planets that are unlikely to have oil reserves will simply be relegated to a new class of space objects known as “Stuff we cant see or benefit from, so who cares”.

Prime Minister Man Mohan Singh said that he has Bush’s assurance in this matter. However, if extraneous elements, not envisaged by him, found their way into it, he would draw appropriate conclusions.

Darrell Hair offered to comment if he was given $500,000 which we obviously did not.

The “Pluto Bacaho Andolan” demanded an immediate letter of apology, and threatened to launch a stir, if Pluto was not restored its Planetary status. The Agricultural Minister & chief of BCCI, Mr. Sharad Pawar held that farmers and not spherical objects like Planets or balls were his priority.

Mr. Arjun Singh said that this was a perfect example of why reservation should be adopted for minorities and he urged that a bill be passed in the IAU for reservation of 50% seats of the Solar Union for minority planets.

This statement caused a heavy stir in the medicos and other engineering institutes who got yet another reason to bunk classes and stop going to offices.

The Telangana leaders said that they were already on a hunger strike for the want of a separate Telangana and could not afford another one, as they had not eaten anything for 3 days and were planning to end their strike very soon before the “buy 1 get 1 free” offer of Mc Donald’s ceased.

The Left claimed that as long as Mars is given the status of a planet, it is not their problem. The director of IIT Kharagpur, Prof SKD (who prefers to be called himself by his full name, which I will not) provided us with the following statement (obviously written by somebody else)

“Dear Friends

It is an immense pleasure to be introduced to this matter. I am sure that the IAU has been relentlessly trying to solve this problem of bridging the gap between planets and heavenly bodies of other kind. I wish everyone all the best!

Jai Hind!

Prof SKD,
Director of You-Know-Where”

All our sympathies lie with Poor Pluto as we bid a final adieu to the smallest planet of the Solar Union. “It was a golden planet, the methane rich skies, its equal sized moons, and its tiny and humble nature”, someone was heard commenting. So long Pluto and thanks for the all the fish!!

The writer is a fourth year under grad student of you-know-where who has got no other work than to go around asking people what they feel about Pluto when he has got a hell lot of work to do like study for CAT, GRE or for the time-being say the mid-semesters. If you happen to have you own comments in on this delicate issue, please do comment! Bad remarks will not be tolerated. : P

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Tagged!!! Again :((

Looks like some one is on a tagging spree....

This time it seems to be a big one, anyways... Here it goes

5 people who top your shit list..... And why:

Hmm, lets see.. I don't have any such list. Everyone is good yaar, come on now...

Close brushes with death/danger:

When I forgot to wish some one "Happy Birthday", thankfully I was not near that person, otherwise I was done for!!!

5 Preferable modes of suicide, in descending order:

I do not intend to commit any, so I have not thought about any modes. But one of them would be listen to a "particular" prof's lecture for more than half an hour. Not an absolute method, the person might also end up getting mad but he could sometimes also die :)).

5 Guilty pleasures:

I am getting bored of this 5 business now, this tag is very long....

5 things you never want to forget:

Ha! This is something good....
There are a lots of things, here are some..
1. When my brother went to the US
2. When I left my sister before coming to kgp
3. My School days
4. When we were together, my sister, me and my brother,
they are the most wonderful part of my life
5. My life here at Kgp.

5 things you wish to forget:

1. The time I had spent with a particular group of people... I better not name them
2. Nothing else, really. I do not remember bad things for a very long time, he he..

5 crushes/loves in your life... in chronological order

No crushes so far :D

Really exotic dishes you have tried:

1. "Khatta" made by my mother
2. Paw Bhaji made by my bro
3. "Palak Paneer" made by my sis
4. Things that I cook :P
5. Karlos's cold coffee :))

Strangest dream you ever had:

Hmmm, I do not remember.

5 most valued personal possessions:

1. The comp which my bro bought for me
2. My sister
3. My collection of stamps and coins.
4. My mother's pic with her mom..
5. My Naruto collection :P

5 favorite superheroes:

1. Naruto
2. Ichigo
3. Swatkats
4. Gismo Duck
5. Baloo

Well, looks like I have to tag 5 people. Sorry guys but can't help it. Here are the poor souls names....
1. Pinyana
2. Sarfarosh
3. Mordox
4. Acroyali
5. I dont have any 5th guy.. .

Saturday, April 15, 2006

8 Qualities of you-know-who

Long Long ago..........

Some one tagged me :P. But it's really unfair you know. I had just started blogging!!

8 Qualities of your Ideal lover.

8 is too large a number, even my C.G isn't that much. Lets make it 4. I am not sure of the tagging rules, but I hope that we are allowed to change some parts of the tagger's questions.

hmm let's see
1. Firstly I am sure there will not be any ideal lover, so let's make it approximate.(although it must obey hooke's law)
2. Must not buckle under high compression loads. No slender lovers allowed here.
3. Steel lovers will be preferred to concrete ones.
4. Must be in compliance with IS 800
P.S. Refer any frust civil engineer near you if you do not understand any of the above :))

Actually I have not really thought about my qualities of my ideal lover. Any kind of person will do as long as the love is true :d

Well, that much for my tag. Now I do not know if I should tag some one else with the same thing. Most of the bloggers I know have already been tagged. And also who'll go through the trouble of adding comments in 8 blogs telling " Bhoo! You've been tagged " :))

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

From in the memory of the class

We already had one hour of torture. Here was a second one. Vani had already left. Lucky guy, I thought. The previous prof had lulled us to a deep slumber by his monotonous voice. This one was no different.

He walked in gracefully, found the class to be half empty. He paced his steps across the classroom as if waiting for someone. May be he awaited the arrival of the only female in the class.

She did not turn up.
He heaved a sigh.

He started with his usual blabber. He would first tell us the number of things he was about to tell. Then he would start with his first thing. Suddenly he would realize that he did not have as many things to tell as he had claimed in the first go. He would then go back, revise the number of things he would say and start all over again. Fed up, he would give up the process. Or rather, I'd give up listening to him. I never knew what happened next. I was already into a deep trance. But I could not sleep.

It was always puzzling for me to see Katoch sleep right under the prof's nose. He looked straight like a steel column, attentive too. The only thing is that his eyes were closed.

The person next to me was taking down good notes. But before I could celebrate, his words started changing shape. From normal English letters, they turned into what looked like an ECG of a dying man. Gradually, the only thing left of them was now a slant line merging into the vast whiteness of the notebook, as the roller tip parted from the long fibers.

Batchu was now swaying, sideways. His eyes deceived him; he could see two of them now.

Bura mat dekho, he thought.....He closed his eyes.

Something went wrong. I could no longer hear the prof's voice. I looked up to see what was going on.

He stood there with his back turned towards us, staring into the vast greenness before him, hoping for something to appear out of nowhere.
It seemed that there was some mistake which he had done while copying from his notes onto the black or rather the green board. And it also seemed that this would have generally been un-noticed by the sleeping class, unless it would have been pointed out by Shravan.

The prof looked into his notes, then onto the board and then into his notes again. He continued this and stood there trembling. I am sure I could hear him talk under his breath. Maybe he was cursing Shravan, cursing us, cursing the damn papers. He longed to be back in his room, or at Nescafe near the CS Department or at the one near the Mech department.

Suddenly his trembling stopped. It appeared as if his genius had found a solution to the grave problem at hand. He finally turned around. Although it seemed forever to us, it took only 5 earthly minutes for the prof to come up with a solution.

"It's not my fault"
"I copied whatever was given here", he said innocently.
"In that case", he continued, "It must have been printed wrongly in the book from where I copied it, I'll tell you tomorrow"

Tomorrow is a very good word invented by the English, to save oneself. I am sure it's a boon for the Profs. As if he'd meet a genie tonight and get the answer from him. Just do whatever you like, if anyone asks you anything, save the day for tomorrow.

I could not help smiling. It was dangerous for I could get caught. ( For those who'd seen me similing, they'll know why).

Shravan did not look satisfied. But before he could overcome his instincts to get back at the prof, he was stopped by his neighbor.
Spare him, poor thing.

The class soon went back to its normal state. Katoch went back to sleep, Chiku continued nodding his head for god-alone-knows-what reasons. Mohit was staring all the time into the Prof’s eyes, he seemed to be unaffected by all this chaos.

It appeared as if a massive black hole had come near us, for Time did not seem to find its end. Even the prof realized this. The material which he had prepared for today's class was getting exhausted. He then decided.

He would let go of us now. He would get rid from the class and leave us in peace. He would do that 15 mins early from the actual time. Do you realize that??? 15 god dam minutes early. I could not believe my ears, or my eyes or any part of my body.

A moment comes, which comes rarely in history, when we step out from the bonds, when a class ends (that too prematurely), when we get to eat good food in the mess....

Oh, now where did that come from, that was supposed to be my next blog entry, never mind :)

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Inaugural

Ah!! Finally I have my own blog. Hmm. That’s good. It took me 1 and half a year to do this!! That story, some time later.

Lets see. Today might be a special day. May be i'll find that I have some money in my ATM. I woke up early in the morning, at 10:00. I even had my breakfast, first time in this semester I guess, or may be second , or third. Whatever! It's special that I had my breakfast after a long time.

Oh I forgot… I woke up without an alarm…on a weekend.

My god, where’s this world coming to. Lots of strange things happening.

I have been studying tank-design books lately. I have completed three chapters in a go! I have taken a bath twice in three days. My room’s still clean after I changed its config thrice since yesterday. There’s something missing.

No music!! Let me play some. There you go “toytoy to toytoy to to toytoy toytoy to”

Never heard this one, you’d rather say. “Close your eyes, just feel.. blah blah". Any good guesses?? You’ve got it right, if its enigma.

I looooooove Engima. A friend of mine just hates it. Hey, I can have a post on this. But that’ll be later, not now.

I don’t know why I have started a blog. May be this will be the first and last post of mine. Or may be I’ll keep posting about stuff that I can post. Or may be I’ll post after another year or so. It depends….

Good weather outside, yesterday the temp was around 38. Today, its 29 I guess. Its summer in kgp…….birds chirping outside. A florid sky. The songs changed. Its called moby. You've never heard of it?? Me neither. I donot know why is it in my playlist. Ah, I have to make a new playlist. May be I’ll do something. I’ll post all the “things I need to do” here. We’ll see abt that later. For now, I am hungry. Its lunch time. See u later!!

I hope I’ll remember the name of this blog when I come back here!!